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FiMfiction Thread: Now with 12.1% more refugees! Anonymous 04/15/2025 (Tue) 17:41:17 No. 19687
Come one and all to the meta-writefag and help raise the quality of MLP fanfiction! Featuring: An Exodus to (or away from) the promised land! ITT: Terry Pratchett is deep inside anon's "writing", the proper use of footnotes is to make ridiculous metaphors, wholesome futa porn getting featured, Mossad is actually /yandere/, optional foreskin-wound-sucking, yet more degenerate fetishists, semantics of dickmares, Death Note but better, the plague of linguistic descriptivism, self-insert OCs as alternatives to HiE, Cadence: alicorn princess of self-love, and pushing back in the circlejerk (unf)! >/fimfic/ Secret Book Club The one hundred and eighth book is The Luna Cypher: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/175385/the-luna-cypher If (You) want to join in the discussion, read up to chapter 15, Unpleasant Surprises, by Sunday, April 20. >Recommended stories: Tired of authors crossing over a dozen IPs? Fed up with downer shipping? Well, we've compiled the best of the worst in order to bring you our absolute average! New Starter Kit - http://mlpficreviews.org.uk/starter/ Old Starter Kit - http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png >Common fic abbreviations used by the thread: https://ponepaste.org/7317 >A list of reviews made by the Anons in this thread: http://www.mlpficreviews.org.uk Use the commands ">review <story link>" and ">discuss <story link>" to add reviews to a story. Userscript for extra features: https://ponepaste.org/8619 >An in-depth writing guide for beginners: https://eznguide.neocities.org/ >Can you pre-read my story? Post it on Google Docs or HackMD with comments enabled and give us a link. >Additional material for authors: Rhorse's Horse Behavioral Notes - https://ponepaste.org/932 Politics and the English Language - https://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit/ 1911 Walter Baker's Hot Chocolate - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAueNTXpn1E Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - https://poneb.in/g4VpEg4f Setting a story in motion - https://youtu.be/ufO8LbwTdu0 Taking criticism - https://youtu.be/-v4R2ZcxPlA >Various reviews and riffs: Fillyanon's Bookshelf - https://ponepaste.org/5555 Notkickass222urmom's Reviews - https://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmom IHeartShinzakura's Reviews - https://ponepaste.org/user/IHeartShinzakura Appleanon reads fics - https://poneb.in/wmGX7FPm Deluxe Big Master Review List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1z9Bz7UnEbxo-svlXa2tV49PJkP-yFuR7pRXiBUn-IeU A Guide to Rational Fics - https://files.catbox.moe/3jzrfm.png The Royal Canterlot Library's Top 16 Fanfics - https://royalcanterlotlibrary.net/top16/ Previous Thread: >>/mlp/42137739
>>29309 the storytelling itself is without flaw as far as I can tell. It somehow intuitively feels grammatically wrong at some places but I can't support it in any way because I'm an ESL nigger myself Well written anon
>>29309 The excerpt's not bad, but there are a few technical issues, mostly with punctuation. I'll try to keep it broad: >Letting out a small "yawn" Yawn shouldn't be in quotation marks here. >"What do you want" Dash said, A line of dialogue like this should have a comma (or question mark since it reads like a question) inside the quotation marks: >"What do you want," Dash said, >"What do you want?" Dash asked, The first line is passive and awkward to read, which can make it harder on the reader to get into the story. I would axe the "Is all that could be heard" part entirely and go right from the drip, drip, drip onomatopoeia to "Rainbow Dash sat bored and alone..." Some of the sentences run a little long. For example, the 3rd paragraph is just one sentence that goes on for several lines. There's nothing technically wrong with long sentences, or even one-sentence paragraphs, but this one would be easier to read if it had a few more natural stopping points. It wouldn't be hard to change the semicolon before "all she knew" to a period and then begin a new sentence around there. Just a suggestion. When in doubt, turning a long sentence (especially one with semicolons and parenthetical asides) into a few shorter ones usually won't hurt readability and will often actually help it. If you want to brush up on things like sentence construction or dialogue tags I'd recommend reading through EZN or Elkia's fanfic writing guides. Very helpful stuff for beginners.
>>29321 Thanks, but I'm not an ESL so I don't have that excuse. >>29322 Going to try and put all this into practice, and write out a few more paragraphs. Thanks a ton. >If you want to brush up on things like sentence construction or dialogue tags I'd recommend reading through EZN or Elkia's fanfic writing guides. Very helpful stuff for beginners. I already read through EZN's writing guide, but I'll probably read through it again so that it sticks better; I'll also try getting around to the other ones guides as well.
>>29328 No problem. Feel free to post more excerpts and I can try and critique as needed. Don't worry about it being perfect, though. Fanfic readers can be pretty forgiving about stuff like spelling and grammar, especially as long as the story itself is engaging. It's good to polish and try to improve as much as possible but don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. It's better to publish an imperfect fic than get so caught up in endlessly revising it that it never actually sees the light of day. I'm speaking from experience here.
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>fic was interesting but is dead >author does something stupid my autism won't let go, or a lot of stupid things >just generally not interested in the premise Trying to find a longer fic I'll actually like about some characters is just impossible it seems.
Alright, made a few changes, and looked back at EZN's guide. Wrote a few more paragraphs to go with it too; so that I'm not just posting the same thing but slightly changed. Drip, drip, drip. A young Rainbow Dash sat bored and alone in the Cake families dark and rundown basement, unsure of what to do with herself as she waited for her friend. Letting out a small yawn, and looking down at the slightly damp floor, she wondered what could possibly be taking her so long to come back after she had left the basement; to get what she had called "a special new toy," for a new game that she had came up with. Dash knew that Pinkie was great at thinking up new games, and trusted her with making them; even if they could seem strange or even just end up being pranks (which she would always get back at her for). But even she wasn't sure about the current one, after Pinkie refused to tell her anything at all about it. All she currently knew was that she was tied with jump rope to a chair, made for foals half-her age, and behind a plastic pastel yellow table; with the game probably involving the three also tied-up stuffed animals that surrounded the other sides of the table. While rocking from side-to-side in her undersized chair, Dash had caught a small glimmer in the eyes of the plushie that sat to the right of her. Deciding to stop her energetic rocking; she took a closer look at the green rooster plushie, that she could have swore was staring at her. "what do you want?" Dash said, looking towards the green rooster plush that had dared to challenge her to a stare down; and gazing straight into its lifeless beady-eyes. After having stared directly into the half-cloaked in darkness roosters eyes for an uncomfortably long time, Dash began to get slightly nervous; wondering if her friend had forgotten about her down here, and if she'd be back anytime soon. Having had finally had enough of waiting for whatever it is that Pinkie had planned up, Dash leaned further, and further back in her chair; preparing to loudly call out Pinkie's name to see if she had even remembered that she had left her friend down in a dingy basement. But just as Dash had begun to draw air into her lungs to cry out, a loud slam! Echoed throughout the basement, causing her to lose her balance and fall back in her chair, and onto the damp, dark blue basement carpet. "Plf, pleh, puh! Who even puts carpet in a basement anyways!" Dash said to herself. It not even registering to her yet that the light had been turned on, and that the room was no longer the dark, uninviting one that it was a just a second ago. Pinkie Pie slid away from the door, and moved swiftly; clip-clopping her pink hooves over to her old pastel colored table, that had been stored in the Cakes basement for some time now. Stealthily sliding off the object she had on her: sky blue, white polka-dotted, and pink frilly saddle, onto the table. She decided taking advantage of her friends predicament to surprise her, and get her new "toy," setup was a great idea.
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>>29421 Ya, I know those feels. >>29435 Probably just going to finish up the story after this one, as it's not that long anyways.
I think I may have spaced things out a bit too much, but I'll leave the post up for you to judge.
Are physical copies of fics ever worth it, and if so, does anyone have any stories (preferably large stories) they'd care to recommend that are in print?
>>29438 Cheers. I probably won't be able to read through for a day or two but I'll try and drop some feedback when I can. >>29453 I don't mind the idea in theory, and groups like Ministry of Image make some really nice looking books, but in practice I have yet to see a fic print edition that I simply have to have. Fallout: Equestria? Past Sins? Anthropology? I'll have to pass.

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